“In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.
   So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.
   And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.’
   Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.’” Luke 2:1-14

When I was in first grade, I spent several weeks memorizing the above Scripture with my fellow classmates: The story of Jesus’ birth from the Gospel of Luke. The Christmas story.
   Each year, the school parents looked forward to seeing their littles perform these verses at Christmas functions. We were taught the appropriate cadence, the expressive hand-motions, and the perfect inflection to each word and phrase to impress our parents and create Christmas memories. (I think we were also supposed to absorb the meaning of the verses, but we were 6 years old… so really it was about making our parents smile).
   To this day, my sister and I will recite these verses at Christmas with our family, hand-motions and all. What started off as a first grade performance became a slightly goofy, albeit much cherished, family tradition. It wasn’t until I was an adult that the gravity of these words began to impact me as they should…
   I cannot begin to imagine the fear and terror Mary must have felt as she embarked on a journey she never saw coming:

   …like ok, you are having a baby. (pause, breathe)

   …and then ok, now you need to leave everything you’ve ever known. (full stop, am I breathing?) 

   …Oh, and by the way, when you get where you are going, you will end up sleeping in a barn with animals and then a bunch of strangers are going to show up at your door to worship your brand new child. (I’M SORRY, WHAT?!)

   I would have been the WORST Mary…

   I like to be prepared. I am a nurse. I am a mom of three. I overthink everything. If I have processed all outcomes, I will be in control of all the things, and I’ll do it all perfectly…right? Some people may call it worst-case scenario planning, I like to call it smart.

   I would have been the WORST Mary!

   Being told that I was traveling to Bethlehem, on a donkey, while PREGNANT would have necessitated more lists, post-it notes, and planners than you could possibly imagine. I am also a huge procrastinator. It is not uncommon for me to be awake until 2 a.m. packing my family for a big vacation when we have to leave for the airport at 4 a.m. (or possibly waiting until the day of a deadline for an advent devotional to actually get my words on paper).
   There is something about an open-ended future that causes my wheels to spin indefinitely. I like finite. I like rules. I like algorithms. I like deadlines, because deadlines force me to be done. 
   Mary didn’t have a deadline. I mean, sure—she knew that eventually, a baby would be born. But from the moment she heard the call from God, her future was open-ended… 

   I would have been the WORST Mary!

   So what was Mary like? 

   Was she a “type B’ woman who liked to fly by the seat of her pants and was ready to jump on the back of the donkey and let the wind lead her wherever she was supposed to go? Was she type A and had the journey itinerary planned down to the minute? Was she a combination type A, type B that has certain things meticulously planned but can’t find her keys or phone half the time? (or is that just me? ;))
   Did she have snacks packed for the journey? Was she an over-preparer who had a first aid kit with Band-Aids on hand for any cut, scrape or gash that happened along the way? Did she pack for the journey the night before, or had she planned for weeks? Did she use a checklist?
   Did she ask Joseph if he remembered his toothbrush and underwear?! And did she trust him to navigate, or did she want to be in charge of the directions?!

   Again, I ask, what about  the snacks?!

   Maybe to Mary, none of those things mattered… or maybe they did.  What we know about Mary is simply this… 
   Mary was a young girl who was told to go, and she DID. She was called by God to carry the Savior of the world, and she DID. She was told to leave her home, to journey with Joseph back to his hometown, and she DID.
   She didn’t have VRBO reservations. She didn't have her hotel booked out 6 months in advance to get the best rates. She didn’t know where she was going to sleep the very night she left. She didn't have a fast pass to skip through all the lines at Disney. She did it her way, and she still got there. 

   Maybe she had snacks, maybe she didn’t. 
   Maybe she procrastinated, maybe she didn’t. 
   Maybe she was freaking out and screaming at God—and Joseph—all while continuing to move forward. 
   Maybe she was quiet and resolved. 
   Maybe she was at peace, maybe she was terrified. 
   Maybe she was all of those things.

   Maybe I wouldn’t have been the worst Mary. 
   Maybe you wouldn’t have been the worst Mary. 
   Maybe we are all like Mary, being called by the Creator of the universe in our own ways. 
   Maybe the way that we get there doesn’t always have to be how others might do it. 
   Maybe the procrastinator and the over-thinker and the over-planner and the perfectionist are exactly who God is looking for. 
   Maybe He doesn't care how we answer His call, just that we do. In all our brokenness and fear and worries about hotel rooms or snacks, God asks us just to go. 

   So maybe I wouldn’t have been the worst Mary as long as when God calls me, I answer—kicking and screaming, or with quiet resolve. 
   I want to have childlike faith and trust in something bigger and greater than ourselves. I want to be like Mary. I want to live boldly and just GO.
   This Christmas season, when we read the Christmas story, I pray that we remember the courage and strength it took for the mother of Jesus to trust God with the tiny amount of information and details that she had. I pray that we all live like Mary, going boldly into the unknown and following God’s call for our lives, no matter where that call may lead.